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Joe Dubin: Defending the Irish goodbye




If you are like me, you love finding out new things in life, whether it is history, word origins or anything in between. This one, though, I absolutely love.

I went to an event recently downtown and got there, shook a few hands and disappeared without saying goodbye. I mentioned this to a friend of mine, and he said, “Seems as if you have perfected the ole Irish goodbye.”

I paused and said, “A what?”

“An Irish goodbye. It is when you duck out of an event or a party without saying goodbye and just leave.”

I was stunned. I have been doing the Irish goodbye for the majority of my life. I had no idea there was a slang term for these actions and, being the pop culture lover that I am, I should have known there was a phrase for it.

The Irish goodbye. Still too good to be true. I had to look it up, and here is what I found:

“Arguably, an Irish goodbye is moderately socially acceptable, and there are plenty of stories about why it’s actually the best way to leave a party. But to understand how the maneuver got its name, you have to know that for most of its history the act has been considered inexcusably rude.”

So there are different names for it, depending on the country one wants to pin it on. I mentioned the Irish goodbye to a few people, and some had heard of it, which made it all the more interesting to me.

I cannot tell you how many parties I have been to that I have done this and just thought it was a great way to duck out with talking to people and basically disappear.

Another article I read is that, and for some reason that made me laugh, it started to be called the Irish goodbye because someone would leave a pub because they did not want anyone to know how truly drunk they were.

Thankfully, that does not apply to me, but I still laughed.

We have all been to parties where we wanted to leave, but invariably there was that one person we had to get past in order to make our exit.

We then realized there was another way out without being stopped and bingo: freedom.

I wouldn’t get offended if I had a party and someone did the Irish goodbye to me, partly because I have been doing it for decades and decades.

Now, some articles have used the word “ghosting” as a friend of the Irish goodbye. False! Ghosting is when you have no intention of seeing or talking to that person ever again. The Irish goodbye is that for one evening, you are finding an easy way out but will eventually talk to the person or persons hosting that party.

Example: Years ago, I had a blind date that was set up by a friend of mine. It was going awfully, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

Near the bathroom was the exit, and next to the exit was an alarm, so if you went out that door, it would go off. Luckily, the code to the alarm was posted RIGHT next to it.

So I pushed in the buttons and was outside.

I walked to my car, texted the girl and said, “I am going to be in here a while. So if you want to go home, no worries.”

I got no reply back, but Lord, I would love to have heard her tell this story to her friends.

Now I can add another line to my tombstone. “Joe Dubin. Father. Son. Who Wasn’t Irish But Perfected The Irish Goodbye.”

Joe Dubin is an Emmy Award-winning TV personality who lives in Nashville.

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